In a parallel universe there is an ice hockey match in Canada.
One club draws its’ support and its’ narrative from the thousands of Scots who left Scotland during the “Highland Clearances”.
The other club are their bitter rivals and their support is largely drawn from the English ascendancy in Canada.
The Toronto Royals are Canada’s establishment club. The religious ethos of the club has always been Anglican. Their ex-players and managers populate the upper echelons of Canadian ice Hockey.
Until 1989 they did not hire any player who had a Scottish background, especially of the player had went to a faith school where the Highland free Presbyterian ethos was extant.
The Scottish team have been in the recent ascendancy in matters ice hockey. They are the current champions.
This is unacceptable for the followers of the Toronto Royals and their owner Dick Thatcher.
It hurts their pride to see the Winnipeg Gaels becoming the main power in the land.
Moreover in the global marketplace for sporting merchandise the current interest in Scottish products has seen the Winnipeg Gaels become a global brand.
They now are more financially powerful that the Toronto Royals.
These “immigrants” with their tartan tops and tourist shop bagpipes are so proud of their “heritage” who do they think they are?
These McDonald’s and Camerons are always wailing on about evictions and coffin ships!
Up strikes a song informing the synthetic highlanders of Manitoba that “the Clearances are over why don’t you go home?”
That night a young lad in the tartan top of the Winnipeg Gaels is set upon he is called a “Jacobite Bastard”. He is kicked to death. Supporters of the Winnipeg Gaels try and get the issue raised on phone ins and in newspapers. A well-known Toronto columnist says that if Canada is such a bad place then people are free to leave. It is, after all, only a song. The assistant coach of the Winnipeg Gaels, ex team captain, Willie Munro, a Skye man, is attacked in the street in Toronto and beaten unconscious.
The Scottish embassy (it is a parallel universe so we can make Scotland an independent nation!) is contacted by a Scottish passport holder in Manitoba. This Scottish citizen complains about the anti-Scottish racism of the song that has, in the Canadian media been treated as “sporting rivalry” and “banter”. The Scottish ambassador delegates the job to his cultural attaché. This leaks to the media and there is outrage at this “interference in Canadian affairs”.
The Toronto Royals CEO Godfrey Soames issues a statement warning the club’s supporters that they could be vulnerable to arrest if they sing the “Clearance Song”.
The club statement does not condemn the song as anti-Scottish or racist. Soames are not challenged about this by the Toronto based Ice Hockey journalists.
Later on a member of the Scottish Parliament is contacted my by a constituent.
The person had been visiting family in Manitoba and had gone to the Hockey match in Winnipeg. The ‘Gaels were playing the Toronto Royals. He was appalled at this “humorous” deriding of the Clearances and those that it deposited in Canada in the 19th century. The Scottish politician raises the issue in Edinburgh with the Scottish foreign minister.
The Canadian born Journalist in Scotland who has been working on this story is pilloried with abuse from Canada. Canadian racists inform him that he is a “pretend Scotsman,” “..We’re glad you went home … kilt wearing trailer trash!”
The journalist contacts the Canadian ice Hockey authorities, which have a mission statement to stamp out racism. The Ice Hockey federation are happy, they state on their website, that racist chanting at Inuit players has markedly decreased in recent years. The journalist repeatedly contacts the Ice Hockey federation and the Canadian ice Hockey players union for comments on the “Clearance Song”.
He also tries and gets a statement about the decision of a Canadian born Lachlan MacDonald to elect to play for Scotland in the upcoming Ice Hockey world cup. Lachlan MacDonald, a Manitoba lad, is booed in every Hockey stadium in Canada. He is referred to as a “traitor” by sports Journalists. It is rumoured that he is considering moving clubs and going to play in the USA Ice Hockey league to escape this racist abuse.
The Scotland based journalist does a tour of various locked doors In Canada and can only report “not available for comment”. Finally the anti-racism charity “Lets Kick racism out of the Rink” updates their website to say that the “Clearance song is, in our opinion, racist”.
Back home in Scotland people who are reading about this “Clearance Song” are dismayed that such attitudes exist in the 21st century. Official inaction against the supporters of the Toronto Royals continues and they, defiantly, belt out the “Clearance song”. In the age of digital 24 hr media the image of Canada as a modern, pluralist, tolerant society suffers badly.
Of course all of the foregoing is very very wide of the mark.
Canada is the gold standard for how to make a multi-cultural society work.
It is the anti-thesis of their large dysfunctional neighbour to the south.
I did say it was a parallel universe.
The analogy though is firm enough.
The Scottish embassy had every right to raise the matter and, indeed, a duty to the Scottish citizen domiciled in Canada.
No right thinking person could come to any other conclusion that the “Clearance song” was racist and those supporters of the Toronto Royals who repeatedly sang it were themselves racists.
Ryan
William / William,
When have I ever mentioned being offended by any flag ever?
I merely stated that if you think Celtic fans are unique in being baffled by a Scotsman singing the national anthem then you should try it at the next Scotland game?
The ‘anti-British racism’ charge you fling out regularly is quite a broad umbrella. Does this mean that one hates Scots, Welsh AND the English with equal venom? Hmmm. That means Celtic fans must ‘hate’ about 3/4 of the playing staff at Parkhead. Whatever.
BTW, I don’t have a British passport. And for the nth time, my name ain’t Phil!
February 12, 2009 at 5:30 am
william
I do respond Ryan and have several posts above awaiting moderation,
You have exposed yourself again Ryan/Phil. you do not publish my posts, but you respond to them. PMSL what a sad little deranged twisted failed journalist you are
Phil/Ryan does not want to publish them as they highlight his agenda.
The Union Jack is the Flag of the UK. Thats the country is states on your passport, The country our forefathers fought 2 world wars for.
It is made up of the combined crosses of St Andrew, St George and St Patrick, Does the Union Jack offend you because of your anti British Racism ?
February 11, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Ryan
Apologies for posting this days later, but here goes:
Why would a true ‘patriotic citizen’ of this country (Scotland I’m sure he means) want to walk about draped in a Union Jack whilst singing the English national anthem? If you think it would be a danger to do this in front of Celtic fans, I suggest you try it at the next home Scotland game, or are the Tartan Army not ‘true patriots’ in the William / Norman Tebbit cricket test?
Well done me, it only took 2 days to think up that reply.
February 11, 2009 at 9:19 am
Ryan
Jeezo,
It only took you 3 months to think up that reply. Well done.
February 6, 2009 at 7:04 am
william
Ryan, you are a hoot. If you walked into Parkhead or a Celtic pub with the Flag of the UK draped round your shoulders singing the National Anthen, what would happen then, maybe that is a better gauge. A citizen of this country would br attacked for being patriotic in his own country, there lies the problem, And Phil,
why not just post under your real name.
January 16, 2009 at 6:43 am
Ryan
Charles,
Eh???????????????
You must know a lot more Celtic fans than I do. Celtic fans who think there is nothing wrong with tfs????
Why do you feel the need to come on and make things like this up? A fair amount of Celtic fans will have no problem with singing the IRA or Rebel songs which you probably venomoously hate. Would you then use this fact in order to justify it?
Key phrases keep appearing-’Mock Irish’, ‘Plastic Paddy’, etc. Can someone please give me a clear explanation or definition of these?
I see you appear to advocate the Norman Tebbit cricket test when it comes to international sporting events. Very good. How do you feel about England tops at Ibrox? I suppose ‘Rivers of Blood’ may flow next!
You then attempt to turn it into a class issue as if only neanderthal working-class folk will be offended by this. Again, you appear to have spoken to several Celtic fans and people in Scotland and Ireland (middle class or otherwise) to provide you with your ‘research’. As a counterbalance to articles like the ones Phil produces, why don’t you publish the details of your findings to show all of us easily offended and disgusted Tims that we are in the minority and are wrong?
If you want a true gauge of how popular the ditty is, go to Parkhead any given Saturday, walk into a pub in the Republic Of Ireland or indeed any hotspot in the 32 counties and give it a lungbusting rendition. That may be a true test, but then again I don’t know how many middle-class folk will be in attendance.
The storm was not created by media or certain jourmalists, it has been brewing since the disgusting ditty was first aired and was really highlighted when a MAJORITY of Rangers fans sang it in front of my very eyes at the last Celtic-Rangers game. The chant has been gathering pace with a venom ever since by defiant Rangers fans who do not realise the long term damage they are doig their club and it’s already severely tarnished reputation. More power to ‘em!
The continual attempts at justification of tfs are staggering, but priceless! You are doing more harm to your beloved football club than any Fenian / Papist conspirators ever could! Personally my parents arrived long AFTER the famine was over and I am rightly proud of my background without wishing to thrust it into people’s faces, but then again the wee ditty is not aimed at me and my ilk is it? Confusion reigns.
October 29, 2008 at 6:54 am
Brendan O\'Hare
I usually enjoy reading your articles but I\’m quite confused by this one. To my knowledge there is no Ice Hockey team called the \”Toronto Royals\” or the \”Winnipeg Gaels\”.
You seem to have gone off message a bit here. Must do better.
October 28, 2008 at 11:20 am
Charles
As many right minded and indeed sane Celtic fans freely admit they have no problem with the song. Many accept that ditties such as “Go Home ya Huns” is at least offensive if, indeed, not more offensive. Unfortunately, the storm has been kicked up by the media and certain journalists, in particular. For the avoidance of doubt, this song is NOT aimed at Irish people. It is aimed at Mock Irish people. Those who are Scottish, but prefer Ireland to Scotland, those who prefer Irish songs to Scottish songs, those who support ROI rather than Scotland in sporting events and those who, in many cases, have never been to Ireland – in effect, those who wish they were Irish and detest being Scottish and, more particularly, detest being British. Indeed, when the context is properly explained every single sensible and indeed middle class person that I have spoken to (in both Ireland and Scotland) realise that this storm is something created by a media which fails or refuses to provide the context to the man in the street.
October 28, 2008 at 10:56 am
Neil
Irishness is Celtic’s heritage, fair enough. However
Irishness is not just Republicanism, in fact it is far from it.
The only way for a multicultural society to work is if everyone is facing in the one direction, as in Canada.
Celtic’s fans can’t even accept that they are British and that’s the reason for the West of Scotland’s problems. No more, no less.
October 27, 2008 at 11:04 am
PaulB
Jesus H Christ
Did you do this all yourself ? Maybe instead of bleating about the old country maybe they should integrate with the chosen country, or indeed if they dont like adopted country maybe they should leave ?
Would you stay in a country you hated, oh thats right you already left it didnt you..
October 27, 2008 at 10:57 am
Declan O'Fianna Gaol Bholla Goon
The housing is plentiful in Scotland nowadays you know…
If you love the land so much…
Why don’t you come home Gaels?
October 27, 2008 at 10:54 am
GMC
Thing is every Scot I know over there has integrated into the Canadian way of life
They have embraced Canadian citizenship and loudly and proudly sing the Canadian national anthem
They proudly fly the maple leaf everywhere and have it on their clothes, cars etc
They did not demand schools for Scots Presbyterians only, they are happy to mingle with all colours and creeds
When Canada fought in a world war they didn’t try and sail away to safety on a yellow convoy, they put their lives on the line for their adopted country and many paid the supreme price
October 27, 2008 at 10:42 am
iain
Unreal!
Maybe of this madman Phil wasn’t “freelance” he would have less time to dream up rubbish like this?
October 23, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Ryan
If they turncoat Winnipegian Gaels hate Canada and us so much why don’t they just bugger off home to Jockland. They make my blood boil with their songs and heritage!
October 15, 2008 at 10:40 am